The Blueprint To Be Happy In Life

One of the first things I realized after my separation/divorce started is that I needed some sort of plan to overcome the next set of obstacles that I was going to be facing. The road ahead of me wasn’t looking pretty, and that I was going to need all the help I could gather to get back on my feet. I had lost what I thought was the love of my life, my house, my savings, my mental and physical health, family members, friends,... My life was on fire and here I was, paralyzed with fear, hearing a constant alarm in my head and unable to do anything about it. I needed to rebuild myself from the ground up. I needed some sort of plan, and most importantly some sort of methodologies to follow that I could apply to help me recover from this hell hole as fast as possible. I was feeling more depressed by the day and nobody was going to be coming to help me. Due to my personal circumstances, family support was limited and I could only rely on a couple good friends. I was the only one that could really do anything to make my situation better and that was really scary. The thing is… that had always been the case, but I hadn’t internalized it until now. 

What could I do? I was truly overwhelmed with everything that was happening. I needed to analyze what the main problems were (in very broad/general terms) and try to break them down into smaller, more manageable pieces. I was hoping that by doing so, I could tackle each component separately, and make the overall problem (rebuilding my life and hopefully be happy again) seem less intimidating and even feasible.

How could I rebuild my life and be happy again? According to an old Spanish proverb, the general formula for happiness is “Salud (Health)”, “Dinero (Money)” and “Amor (Love)”. Well, I thought that to be a good start. I was really lacking in the three departments, and I could always revisit the plan later. I took three colored post-its out (blue, green and red) and wrote: Health, Money and Love. I had recently been reading “They Can’t Hurt Me” by David Goggings <insert Amazon affiliate link here>, and I really liked the idea of creating what he calls “an Accountability Mirror.” In a nutshell, an accountability mirror is a self-improvement concept where a mirror is used as a visual tool for self-reflection and accountability. It involves physically writing one's goals, shortcomings, and affirmations on a mirror that is seen daily. The idea was that by visually confronting these elements, I would encourage myself to take actionable steps towards my goals while also holding myself accountable for any setbacks or shortcomings. My bathroom was going to serve as a constant reminder of where I wanted to be, as well as a tool for self-assessment and motivation. I was going to divide my goals into 2 sections (vision/purpose) and short term actions/compromises that I could start implementing now.

My next step involved pinpointing the key issues in the areas that needed improvement, issues that were directly impacting my happiness. I then formulated a mid-to-long-term plan, setting achievable goals in each critical area. Once I had a clear vision for these major aspects of my life, I was able to outline immediate actions to begin addressing the problems. Having a purposeful vision was crucial for channeling my internal pain into productive efforts—and believe me, I had ample pain to fuel that drive.

Another book that recently inspired me to formulate this blueprint is "Atomic Habits" by James Clear. One standout point from the book is the emphasis on adopting a systems-based approach rather than solely focusing on goal-setting for personal growth. A systems-based framework offers more flexibility, sustainability, and intrinsic rewards compared to a narrow, outcome-oriented approach. While having a directional vision is crucial for my recovery, I aim to integrate effective systems that align with an "accountability mirror" strategy for self-monitoring. This focus on daily incremental progress allows me to build momentum gradually, embracing the proverbial "one step at a time" philosophy.

Also inspired by David Goggins, I decided to watch the documentary about the Navy SEAL training that supposedly was a pivotal trigger in his life for him to change his life from spraying cockroaches and a sedentary lifestyle to the incredible inspirational human being that he is today. A point that really stood out to me from that documentary was how the soldiers that were able to complete BUDs training had a mentality of taking things one day at a time (or how they say in the documentary, from one meal to another, since they had to feed them every 6 hours). I wanted to use a similar approach with my situation, the “how”, while having some long term goals that provide the “what” and the “why” as directional guidance.